So it would be pretty accurate to say that I almost didn't care. I didn't obsess over the weather, I didn't think about what to wear, other than I wanted to put on a new Coeur kit that I had ordered and could not wait to receive. I had a fancy race helmet, a bike in perfect working order with speedy race wheels, new road cycling shoes which I learned to clip in without a hiccup. All I needed was for Zin to come pick me up from work on Friday and drive downtown to retrieve my race kit.
I felt compelled to write this tweet.
Water temp at #TTF 2012: 18C, 2013: 16.5C, 2014: 13-15C. Have the defibrillator and the heating blanket ready. #brrrrr @TriathlonTO
July 12, 2014
Anyway, thanks to the company, I didn't have much time to stress about the what ifs. Not until I got back home, but then I looked at the weather app. Thunderstorms and rain and wind, oh my!! I proceeded to organize my transition bag, put the tri kit beside my bed, my change of clothes, my nutrition, every single detail was ready and then I decided to call it a night. As I lay down in bed, staring at my ceiling, I let the thoughts sink in.
My knees were hurting and I had not been able to run more than 3km without pain. I should be resting instead.
It was going to rain. A lot. And I was going to remain soaked for hours.
It was going to be freaking cold in the water. Colder than I could handle.
I was going to fly down a highway on my bike, with puddles everywhere and water in my eyes and slippery oil patches and O M G. What if I crash?!!
And at that moment I knew that the risk was not going to be worth the reward. Most likely I wasn't going to get a PR and worse, I may even get sick or DIE. Yes, I do think about dying on my bike a lot. I would be stupid not too. Have you ever launched yourself head forward on a slope? The tiniest error can end in a LOT of hurt. Have you seen the Tour de France this year? Let that be an eye opener. If you crash, game over. No more Ironman and all training, all sacrifices thus far, gone down the drain. So I posted a status on Facebook saying that I was reluctant to start, but then my mind was already made up. I turned off the light, counted down to 5 and I freed my mind. I slept like a baby and the night went by in a blink.
Next thing I know, the alarm clock goes off, it's 4pm and I'm at peace. I get up, put on city clothes, I don't even look at my tri bag. Hubbs and I go to the kitchen, we have breakfast. Hey, I can even have coffee! Isn't that a treat?! If I were racing I would have had to skip. Bike comes out of the car and I don't even sigh. All I care from now on is seeing Zin SMASH it!!
I drive us downtown again and I drop hubbs off near the transition, then I go park the car. As I started walking along the canal towards transition, I looked at my wristband. I had not removed it. That's ok, it was going to give me in and out privileges and I was glad for the opportunity, I could be much closer to Zin and to all my friends racing that day. If I dare to say, I has happy and content with myself.
Before I could find hubbs, I ran into Margarita, she is one my long time blog readers who won a top at a small contest that I ran on my blog last year, just before TTF. We met back then and stayed in contact since. She has stayed true to herself in her pursuit of endurance challenges, and I could not be more proud of her. She did TTF last year and came back for more!
Carol. And then I found her!